I broke through that barrier once and have been chipping away at that barrier little by little after a bad bought of pneumonia last year. Granted, I was sick for three months and completed three rounds of antibiotics and was on several other medications to combat the drug resistant strain I had. I wheezed at the slightest bit of cold weather or the slightest exposure to environmental allergies for months afterwards, and still on rare occasion need a puff or two from a rescue inhaler. It damaged my lungs pretty bad.
I am not quite a year from overcoming the pneumonia, but I am more inhibited for some strange reason than I was before. Physically, my lungs are now in good shape. Despite this, there is some psychological barrier that proceeds to inhibit me from pushing to the extent I did several months prior to getting pneumonia.
As I said, I have chipped that barrier down some. I did run a 5K this year for the first time. I beat a personal record. I ran up steep hills and endured, and that is HUGE! Believe me, I am very happy with my personal victory.
Just a few weeks ago, I beat another personal record in outdoor running, and I was very proud. I mostly run on a treadmill and am pushing myself outdoors more and more. I learned very quickly after running a 5K, that it is definitely NOT like treadmill running. It is more difficult overall, with the varying temperature and terrain factors. It is also not like running on a bouncy,
belted machine. It is an entirely different feeling all together when running on pavement, gravel,, etc....
As I celebrate these victories and tell myself not to get discouraged from not being up to par to where I used to be prior to getting ill last year, I cannot help but note a small sense of fear as I approach certain barrier points. It is strange, perhaps to use the word fear, but it is what it feels like. My mind is nearly shouting, "Whoa, hey, back down, girl! We're not there, yet!" At the same time, my legs still got the go, my lungs feel like they can endure.
It is a strange sensation - this fear. It is one that I will overcome, though. I say this as I prepare to sign off and attempt to push that fear down a bit farther and beat down some barriers. Wish me luck on my run!